A Reinvention Loading... Finding My Inner Peace

By nature, I am an anxious person. If I make one mistake my mind immediately goes to the worst possible things that could happen after that. I think the butterfly effect is real and it takes shape in my mind in a matter of 25 seconds. This type of thinking has led my college experience to be far more stressful than it has to be, and also taken away something I've searched for since I was a sophomore in high school. This one magical concept that hasn't seemed obtainable now finally seems to be working its way into my life. In the matter of a few weeks, I have started to obtain peace.

See, I attend a university that thrives on competition and labels. It's not necessarily a bad thing, in fact, it pushes me to realize that I am being prepared for the real world. I am constantly reminded that status and even success comes from not what you know or who you know, but what you can do for who you know. This idea has always bothered me and at times made me feel inadequate, made me feel that my uniqueness and differences were not appreciated. It made me feel like I needed to hide, even though I know now I am meant to stand out even if it separates me from other things. I have learned that I can’t find my self-worth in grades, organizations, my friends, my relationships, or even from accolades and awards. I have learned that my self-worth is already rooted in the pure essence of who I am.

So, as I sat in a hotel room in a different country, I redefined my goals, and most importantly I redefined what it meant to be me. I took the time to self-reflect on my shortcomings as well as the things that make me who I am. In all of my flaws I found good and in that good I found peace. I may not be always put together, confident, or even secure in everything I am, but I have learned to take pride in the journey to discovery and not just in the final destination. I am starting to live by the words” It’s okay to be a masterpiece and a work in progress.” because it’s true. I will never be perfect no matter how hard I try to be. I can never always be on it, and no Instagram profile, twitter persona, or a Pinterest board could ever convince myself or others that I am.

I am learning that my peace is rooted in my authenticity and I am on a five-step journey to continue to find that inner peace and authenticity I never let myself truly indulge in.

Step 1: Face your dragons head on but, you don’t have to slay them all in one day.

Everyone has a past, and with a past comes struggles. It is important to look at all of your dragons, acknowledge them, and know that it’s okay to face them in your own time.

Step 2: Stop comparing yourself to others. Their journey is not yours.

THIS IS SUCH A CHALLENGE! In the digital age of Instagram, bloggers, YouTubers, digital creatives, it is so easy to get caught up in who has what, who looks what way, and who is doing what. This is toxic. This distracts you from your journey, your accomplishments, and your personal goals. Focusing on you, and being happy for what others have without comparison or envy is the road to inner peace.

Step 3: Give yourself time to heal while also learning to let go and let grow. Healing has no time frame. It is a personal process. However, while you are healing you can also go through the steps of letting go and finding growth in your struggles.

Step 4: Practice Mental, Spiritual, and Physical health daily but don’t get caught up in what you think you’re supposed to look like. The body is one entity with several different systems. The body cannot be whole or at peace, if one component is not healthy and at peace. Practicing all forms of health in mind, body, and spirit is a constant process and it is all interconnected.

Step 5: Accept that you will constantly need to reevaluate yourself and your relationship with others. People constantly change and people constantly grow. It is always necessary to reevaluate yourself, your goals, and your dreams. Sometimes it can be easy to become complacent with who we are and what we are doing, but growth and self-assessment are good.