Flower Child, You’re About to Bloom: An Ode To Year 21
Flower Child, You’re About to Bloom: An Ode To Year 21
“I’m a sunflower, a little funny. If I were a rose, maybe you’d want me.”- Sierra Burgess is A Loser
Today is my 21st Birthday. I woke up, feeling happy, overwhelmed,and slightly (not so slightly) hungover.
I don’t look any different, I’m not acting any differently, but in a way, I’m starting to feel different.
As a 21-year old trapped inside a 12-year olds body, (16 on a good day) I am learning that it’s time to bloom where I’m planted, no matter what other flowers are blooming around me.
I’m going into year 21 with the mantra that as a sunflower in a field full of beautiful roses, I can still grow. I’m teaching myself five lessons in stages like the way petals grow and fall on a flower. As I go into September 19th, 2018, I’m praying year 21 is my year to flourish. This is my year to blossom.
Petal 1: I am accepting the things I cannot change, and changing the things I cannot accept.
As many of you know, I am a control freak. I live my life by a planner so thick it looks like a textbook. Every minute of my day is planned out and sometimes that means that I freak out when I lose control. This year is the start of me keeping my cool under pressure. This morning, my video project was deleted and I didn’t have a panic attack. I collected myself, restarted my video, and got my stuff together. In short… that’s progress.
Petal 2: I am embracing that I cannot be loved by all people, but I can accept ALL of the love from the people who love me.
Basic fact of life: We all long to belong to someone or something. I am not just a control freak, I am also a people pleaser. I long for people to care for me, my personality, and what I embody. 2nd Basic Fact of Life: It ain’t gonna happen. So, instead of spending a majority of my time and energy trying to seek validation from people who smile in my face and speak ill of me behind my back, I’m going to soak in all of the love from the people who actually care about me. Most importantly, I am going to give all of my love to everyone that I love.
Petal 3: I am loving myself more, putting myself down less.
I tend to uplift everyone around me except for myself. I talk down on myself, I criticize myself, I am my own toxicity. That is stopping because if I can find the good in everyone else, I HAVE to be able to find the good in me. I am learning that my beauty is draped in my own authenticity.
Petal 4: I am having more fun!
As stated before, I’m a people-pleasing control freak. This often limits my ability to relax and let loose. Starting, well last night, that’s all changing! Enough said
Petal 5: I am letting the Melanated Flower Child within me grow.
If you know me, you know I embody the spiritual soul that is Freddie Brooks. The only thing I sometimes lack is the unapologetic attitude that Freddie has. I do that because, at times, I feel as if I don’t fit into the environment that I am surrounded by. I feel out of place in various situations, and sometimes that can feel like I shouldn’t be who I am. That’s changing, slowly but surely. I am unapologetically me. I’m a little quirky, sassy as hell, sensitive, introverted and too empathetic for my own good. I can be toxic at times, but in my own right, I am growing.
Cheers to year 21…. I’m ready for it.
Peace & Love, D