Finding My Faith Again Through Motherhood
Updated: Nov 12, 2021
When I became a mom, especially in those first few months, I felt like I didn't even have enough time to take a shower, let alone focus on an ongoing relationship with Christ. I realized that I began to use that as an excuse to stray away from being obedient to his word so that I could focus on becoming a good mom.
I have noticed this pattern throughout most of my adolescence. When I am in seasons of busyness, I lose focus on my relationship with Christ to focus on everything else around me.
However, this season is a little bit different because now I am responsible for another human. I want her to love God exceedingly and abundantly. I want her to be a world-changer. I want her to love like Jesus loves but also see that same fire and passion within me. I struggle a lot with staying faithful and obedient to God because often, I associate Christianity with negative things and trauma in my life.
"Pray, you don't need therapy." "God will heal you no matter how sick you are." "We are all God's people, so love as Jesus loves and racism will disappear." "Don't wear this." "Don't look like this." etc. etc.
So many times, my affliction with religion will trump my passion for the Lord and my relationship with him. So, as a mom, I'm finding out how to shed my skin and negative beliefs and reimagine my focus for my daughter.
In a world filled with identity labels, I often use terms that don't center Christ. In the beginning, I felt like I had lost who I was and was just now a mom. However, I'm learning that being a mom, partner, employee, and homemaker are things that I do, but they are not who I am.
I am learning to reidentify myself to be who God has called me to be.
One verse that I am keeping in mind is:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I keep this in mind because his grace, strength, and everything is sufficient for me at the end of the day, even when I feel like I am deficient in every aspect of my life.
My identity is not just resting on the things I am, how organized the house is, what clothes I am wearing, how many playdates I can plan in a month. My identity is rooted in him.
It is a journey with a long road ahead. But I am excited about the trip.