• Daizha Lankford

Optional



You’ve heard the quote right?


If you treat me like an option, I’ll leave you like a choice?


For the longest time, I thought that was so stupid. Sometimes I still do.


But it got me thinking about options and what that really means.


An option is simply: a thing that is or may be chosen.


And when I saw that definition it got me thinking about people, and relationships, and human connectivity.


It made me realize that every deep human connection we have in our life, we make a choice to have them there, or to remove them.


That's when the thought process got real!


How many times have I let someone or a group of people treat me like an option?


The answer… too many damn times.


I get caught in this cycle of giving people chances after chances. Thinking that effort looks different for everyone, and just because I show effort one way doesn’t mean someone else isn’t as invested as me.


Well, honestly… I call bullshit.


I have decided that I am worth more than what most people give me.


I am not a note on a to-do list.

I am not a last resort.

I am not an afterthought.

I am not an option.


I’ve decided that peace looks like knowing my worth even when it means cutting people off.


I’ve decided self-care looks like reclaiming my time.


I’ve decided that lack of effort on other people’s part, does not constitute for an overcompensation of effort on mine.


But, that’s easier said than done.


The human in me, the lover in me, the giver in me, the people pleaser in me seeks to make people feel chosen, even if they haven’t made me feel the same.


In a way, I pour my cup into everyone else.


Even when I’m empty, even when I’ve run out of stuff to give, because secretly I pray that when they see how empty my cup is, they’ll want to fill it up.


Usually, they don’t.


But what I’m learning is, I can pour into others, without emptying myself.


And those who truly have chosen me... they made the choice to make an effort, made the choice to be in my life and have me in theirs.


They made a choice to show me my love language and teach me how to show them theirs, and those are the people I want to be in my life.


I will continuously make a choice to pour into others and give my time, and love.


But I will no longer tolerate being treated like I’m an option for them to consider when it’s CONVENIENT for them.


I’m worth more, and me choosing to believe that, is the best choice I’ve ever made.


Peace & Love, Daizha

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