• Daizha Lankford

Tethered

Updated: Jun 24




teth·er

/ˈteT͟Hər/

verb

1.tie (an animal) with a rope or chain so as to restrict its movement.


Whenever we bond with someone, we innately form an attachment to them.

It’s like a spiritual cord, an invisible string, or a rope that connects our soul with someone else’s.

In other words, sometimes, we become tethered to other people, and if we aren’t careful, that tether can become restrictive.

I believe that some spiritual connections are a lot harder to cut than others.

It can be because of time, love, pain, intimacy, going through traumatic things together, or just simply feeling a deep soul tie.


But what happens when that soul tie becomes dangerous ? When you become stuck in the same place because you simply cannot let go of the person you are tethered to?


Well, you begin cutting away at pieces of yourself in hopes to cut the string… but sometimes you destroy yourself more in the process.


And through this period of consistent growth, I am learning that no matter how much time has passed, no matter what type of pain has been caused, or even the status of your bond with someone, you can still be tethered to someone’s soul, and it can still cause pain.


But the main question is not why we become tethered to others, the main question is… once the string has been attached, and it becomes poisonous, how do we cut it?


And here is when I tell you that I think it’s a pretty damn hard process.

I find myself gnawing away at the parts of me that don’t need to be cut, instead of the string itself.

And it is easy to confuse the two.

Maybe if I was kinder, my hair was better, my clothes were fancier, my laugh wasn’t so annoying, my words didn’t cut so deep, my… (the list goes on)


Maybe if I was everything else, I wouldn’t be so toxically connected to this person, when I deeply wish I wasn’t.

But those are not the things that tie us together.

In fact, it’s the other person’s strings that keep us around.

So, when you want to cut the string, clip the cord, get rid of the tether, you have to do so in a loving way.

But not necessarily lovingly for them, lovingly for you.

See the power of negative soul ties, will have you believing that you don’t deserve to be loved in the way that God intended you to be loved.


So when I say you deserve a love that does not cause pain, you deserve a love that does not teach you torment and self-doubt, you deserve a love that leaves you fulfilled and not empty…

I mean that.

You deserve a love that does not make you question your place in their life.

You deserve a love that is unconditional in all its forms…

That soul tie that you’ve become attached to that makes you feel this way, needs to be cut; and you owe it to yourself to be the one to pull out the scissors.


So, here I am. Finally pulling out the scissors, butcher knife, and whatever other sharp objects I can find, to cut off a few tethers that have been holding me hostage.


And I am learning that I need to do it with grace.

So those tweets I want to send, those calls I want to make, those angry fits of curse words I want to throw at several people.

I am learning that there is another way.

And that is very hard for me.

I am learning that my original soul tie, the one where I love myself and am connected to myself, still needs some major attention.


Because once I cut this cord, once I sever this tie, I plan on wrapping myself lovingly within my own spirit and learning what it means to be loved the right way, to be cared for the right way, and to be able to eventually connect it to someone else again.

I am learning that this tether will not destroy me.

It will teach me the beauty of pain.

I am learning that to break tethers, you have to want it bad enough, and be willing to face your hurt.

And as I am on a journey of falling in love with myself, someone else, and beautiful new creations, I am learning that it’s okay to be vulnerable again.

It’s okay to form new bonds, it’s okay to move on and let go.

It’s okay to be hurt and cry while pushing through.

It’s okay to cut the cord once and for all.

And I think once you learn all of these lessons that stem from all of this pain…

That is truly where the scissors cut.

Peace and Love, D.

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