This Glass Castle We've Built
I believe that if our generation had to be compared to some deep analogy, it would be a neighborhood of castles, all built out of glass.
These glass castles come in the form of Instagram feeds, twitter timelines, Snapchat filters, and so on and so forth.
They’re transparent enough to see through the walls, witness the highlight reels of other people's lives, but strong enough; covered enough to not always see the cracks within the glass.
That is unless we put them on display ourselves.
And it’s amazing at what we can see when we build glass castles.
Some people use curtains, to cover it all up. Others leave the walls bare, for everything to be seen. Some people are comfortable with the cracks, and the nakedness.
I used to only be comfortable sharing the good. Then I got used to my “castle” being seen, being vulnerable, showing the cracks, but not too many. Laying it all out there but not too much.
And now, that I’m learning and rebranding who I want to be seen as I’m learning that my glass castle was not just built by me, it was built by a lot of people.
See, these glass castles we built, they’re never completely finished, we remodel them and demolish them over and over again.
We let people enter and exit freely at will, while the outside world watches.
Some people come to build, some people come to break.
Silly me for not knowing the difference right away.
But when the neighbors are watching, when the strangers are watching, we are so good at making sure our “castle” looks neat and clean.
There’s a reason why when we get a bad grade, go through a rough time, get diagnosed with an illness, experience rejection, we don’t usually post about it for the world to see.
We start to fear that we are the only ones with cracks in our castles.
But we aren’t.
Because… These Glass Castles we’ve built aren’t indestructible.
They crack and break, burst under pressure, shine to a fault, but still get smudged in the process.
These glass castles we’ve built look perfect in boxed squares on Instagram, but between the lines involve struggle, pain, and disappointment.
These glass castles we’ve built are not meant to be perfect, but we hire so many people to build one that is.
A group of friends, a romantic partner, new clothes, new bags, perfectly placed props.
“Relationship goals, squad goals, outfit goals”...
We all want the castle to look pretty and put together on the outside, even if it’s breaking from the inside out.
But now I choose what my castle looks like, even when people come in and out to remodel it and leave their mark.
This glass castle will now be mine. Visitors are welcomed, they can try to break me and destroy me, but my glass is stronger.
My cracks are no longer an imperfection to me, my privacy is sacred, but my pain is universal.
I no longer accept the fact that I need to look “perfect.”
I’m okay with construction constantly taking place.
Because My glass castle is mine, even when it’s on display for other’s to see. My glass castle is a testament and a piece of history to my story.
This glass castle we’ve built is no longer just a house, it’s a museum.
And my museum is a display of who I was, am, and will be.
Some people will miss it, some people will love it, some people won’t even care it exists.
But it’s no longer my problem that “I am a museum of art, and you had your eyes shut.”
Peace & Love, D
Thanks for being a faithful reader for the past year! Here's to many more glass castles.
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